One of our favorite things during Kevin McCarthy’s week of asking to be peed on (WITH VOTES!) was the attempted transformation of Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Jewish Space Lasers) into a Very Serious Politician. She decided early on that it was wisest to throw her lot in with the majority of House Republicans, the establishment if you will. She knew, because of her political acumen and experience, that if Republicans want to get anything done, they’ve got to pull together around their Dear Leader Kevin.
We loved her Elder Statesman Marjorie Taylor Greene interviews:
When McCarthy was overwhelmingly selected speaker on the 15th ballot late on a Friday night by a non-majority of the body he’s to lead, he gave Greene a hug and a kiss on her cheek. They got the cutest selfie together! Hashtag felt cute at the time, hashtag NEVER DELETING EVER!
Bugf—k Jones has gone normal, y’all. Or at least she would like us to think she has.
The person who said on the campaign trail last year that Democrats are LITERALLY murdering Republicans and has indicated support for violence against Democrats; who made a name for herself harassing a Parkland shooting survivor; good old QAnon The Clown, who seems to have at some point embraced pretty much every racist xenophobic Republican lie that exists — she’s gone legit.
She explained to Howie Kurtz on Fox News:
“Like a lot of people today, I had easily gotten sucked into some things I had seen on the internet,” Greene said Sunday when Fox News host Howard Kurtz questioned her past association with the conspiracy theory. “But that was dealt with quickly early on. I never campaigned on those things. That was not something I believed in. That’s not what I ran for Congress on. So those are so far in the past.” Apparently satisfied with that evasive non-answer, Kurtz moved on to the next subject.
Howie Kurtz is an extremely skeptical journalist and also very inquisitive.
Anyway, Greene just got sucked in to some things she saw on the Internet. Some people shop on Amazon late at night and forget about it until ALL THESE PACKAGES show up, while others see people talking about how the planet is ruled by a global cabal of elite pedophiles who drink child blood and the Democrats are a big part of this, and they say you know what? That just makes a lot of sense.
The conspiracy theory where Hillary Clinton sliced off a child’s face to wear it as a mask in order to extract the adrenochrome? DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH, OK? (The conspiracy theory is called “Frazzledrip.”)
In related news, Lauren Boebert, who sitteth at the right hand of Matt Gaetz and votes “present” instead of voting for Kevin McCarthy, because of how they both have principles, continues to hurl turds in her former buddy MTG’s direction, making fun of her Jewish Space Laser conspiracy theories in an AP interview published yesterday:
“I have been asked to explain MTG’s beliefs on Jewish space lasers, on why she showed up to a white supremacist conference. … I’m just not going to go there,” Boebert said over the phone as she rode in a car winding through the high canyons near her hometown of Silt before the speakership vote. “She wants to say all these things and seem unhinged on Twitter, so be it.”
Marjorie Taylor Greene is not normal, BOEBS IS NORMAL!
Boebert has been making fun of MTG’s Jewish Space Lasers since last month, starting at very sane and normal Charlie Kirk’s Turning Point USA shame boner festival, as the fight over Kevin McCarthy’s speakership was really kicking into gear. They’re very serious there, at the Turning Point USA shame boner festival. No time for silly conspiracy theories.
As we said, MTG doesn’t believe in those either anymore, because when she was a child she spake as a child, but when she became a growned-up she put away childish things, and now all the Republicans have been cured of their conspiracy theories and their brains work real good now, the end.
Now watch this cool video![Rolling Stone / AP]
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