Is ‘Schlapp Around And Find Out’ A Good Pun For Matt Schlapp Getting Sued For Alleged Junk-Pummeling?

Matt Schlapp
One of many memes of Schlapp

Well, the male Herschel Walker staffer accusing CPAC head Matt Schlapp of feverishly “pummeling” his junk one night without his consent has been telling the media that if Schlapp opens his mouth to publicly deny the story, he would come forward and reveal who he is. He hasn’t done that, but he sure has just sued the crap out of Schlapp.

Matt Schlapp tweeted this statement yesterday, attributed to his lawyer:

Hilarious how they’re still calling it an attack from the Daily Beast, now that other news organizations have also confirmed the story. But that indeed is a public denial, couched in pitiful appeals for sympathy that will mostly fall on deaf ears.

Matt Schlapp has been sued for sexual battery, and he and his wife Mercedes Schlapp are also named for defamation. Schlapp around and find out, we guess. Allegedly!

The New York Times reports that the lawsuit has been filed in Virginia Circuit Court in Alexandria, and that it accuses Schlapp of all the salacious junk pummelings we’ve already heard about. Plus more:

The lawsuit also accuses Mr. Schlapp and his wife, Mercedes Schlapp, who served as Mr. Trump’s White House director of strategic communications, of defamation and conspiracy, claiming that they coordinated a campaign to discredit the Walker aide and his allegations.

Timothy Hyland, a lawyer for the accuser, said in a statement that the lawsuit, which asks for at least $9.4 million in damages, had been filed in part because Matt Schlapp had not apologized for “his despicable actions.”

“Because Mr. Schlapp has refused to own up to his misbehavior,” Mr. Hyland said in a statement, “this suit aims to make Mr. Schlapp, and those who lie for him, accountable for their actions and statements.”


“We have learned that the accuser is a troubled individual. He has been fired from multiple jobs including one firing for lying and lying on his resume. We are sticking to our lawyers statement. With God’s help, we have stayed strong and the girls are amazingly strong.”

As for Mercedes Schlapp, the lawsuit says she posted this message to her neighbors, calling the accuser a “troubled individual.”

Matt Schlapp

The accuser says that is all BS, and the lawsuit meticulously details the accuser’s allegations of what the Schlapps have done to defame his character. (Way more than we addressed in this blog post.)

The rest of the lawsuit is an interesting read, and consistent with every other news report we’ve read about what the accuser says Schlapp did. It also details the accuser’s contemporaneous accounting of the events in question, that night in video recordings he made and in texts he sent to friends, and then the next morning to the Herschel Walker campaign.

The Times summarizes:

After returning home, the staff member spoke to friends about the episode and made personal video recordings about what had happened, according to the lawsuit.

He informed campaign officials about the encounter the next morning, and the campaign barred Mr. Schlapp from future Walker events, according to three other people associated with the campaign who were involved in those discussions and spoke to The Times on the condition of anonymity, saying they were not authorized to discuss personnel matters publicly.

The campaign officials told The Times that they had advised the aide to text Mr. Schlapp that he was uncomfortable with what had happened the previous night. The aide also provided Mr. Schlapp with the name and number of another driver, according to the lawsuit.

Mr. Schlapp then called the aide, who did not answer, according to documents viewed by The Times. A few hours later, Mr. Schlapp texted the aide, wishing him good luck on the campaign.

“If you could see it in your heart to call me at end of day,” Mr. Schlapp texted, “I would appreciate it.”

It all feels so very icky.

So we guess we will see what happens next. None of this could be happening to nicer people, that’s for sure.

Thoughts and prayers and warmest regards to the Schlapps, can’t believe this is Schlappening to you, why do bad things Schlappen to good people, the end.

[New York Times / lawsuit]

The original post can be found on Wonkette


Leave a Reply

What do you think?